The platonic friendship myth

As Catholics who know right from wrong and are taught from the cradle that there are consequences for our actions, it is easy to begin to think that we are above temptations: at least big temptations. We imagine ourselves too strong to lie, cheat, steal, harm. It is that pride, though, that makes us so vulnerable. My husband and I are experiencing first hand the saying, "Pride goeth before the fall." My pride was in thinking our marriage was perfect and impenetrable. His pride was in believing he was strong enough to resist temptation.

My husband and I are practicing Catholics. We love our Church, and we try to live our faith daily. We don't believing in casual sex, and we do believe in monogamy. So why are we in this mess of adultery?

Our lives had become very busy. My husband was always away from home either with work or school. We knew that we were not as close as we should be, but were certain that once he graduated, things would get back to normal. What we didn't realize, though, was that people do need friendship and support and look for it without even knowing they are. My husband wasn't around to receive love and support from me, so without knowing he needed it, found a friend in a fellow classmate.

They became very close emotionally. Close enough that the adultery was already committed long before the first time they had sex. In fact, sex was a natural progression for the intimacy they had been forming in the weeks prior.

Husbands, accept that you can be frail. Don't be deceived in your own strength. You may not be looking for another friend, lover, companion, but there will always be those temptations out there ready to attack you when you least expect them. And most affairs are with people from work because you are around each other all the time. Constant proximity breeds intimacy. Do not put yourself in the near occasion of sin.

Wives, look for a distance in your husbands. You can tell when he is pulling away from you emotionally and physically. Don't allow silence.

God does not want us to look outside of the marriage for intimacy of any kind, unless it is the beautiful intimacy we should have with Him. For either the husband or wife, if you are craving an emotional intimacy that's lacking, invest in finding that with your spouse. It may take more work, but it will be infinitely more rewarding for both of you.