Not a good day

I don't feel very holy today. The other woman called and said she's expecting Benjamin to pay half her medical bills, for starters. We are going to hire a lawyer to see what his responsibilities are.

I am so angry today. I have lost so much. Today, seeing how much money we are going to lose because of this is just another dimension. We could be paying money out for the next 18 years to this woman because of the affair resulting in a child. We don't have the money to set aside for retirement, and now we have to come up with money to give to her. It's just one of a million ways that this situation is rotten.

I feel like there's not a single area of my life that hasn't been affected by my husband's sin.

I have been praying, though, for the Lord to not keep us in suspense about the condition of the baby, so thank you, God, for that. It's not what I wanted to hear, but you can see the big picture much better than I can. Give me strength today. I want to give up.