Why do I hold on?

I found out yesterday that the other woman is no longer working at the Mall. I realized it had been a while since I'd seen her car there, so when I knew she wasn't there, called the store and asked for her. They said she no longer works there.
I asked my husband to call today and try and get more information. They wouldn't say anything, but they aren't allowed to talk about it and it was very hush hush. Either she was fired or left on very bad terms. An amicable separation doesn't involved hushed tones, lowered voices, and disclaimers. Now at least we know we can go to the Mall with little chance of seeing her (my husband has avoided the place for six months).

That knowledge made me realize just how providential it was seeing her on Friday. She obviously wasn't there to work because she had her little girl. Me being at the same point in time (the road) and her going to her former place of employment like that couldn't have been a coincidence. I had wondered before if I was going against what God would want by turning around and following her on Friday. Now that I know she doesn't even work there anymore it seems like God must've had a hand in our passing. That makes me feel a little better.

Also, I don't know why, but knowing that things went badly at her job makes me feel a little better too. Not, and I know this is hard to believe, because I take some spiteful pleasure in her suffering. A single mom out of work is always a bad thing. But usually people leave under bad circumstances or are fired because they've done something wrong, illegal, unethical or unprofessional. It's just more confirmation that she truly isn't a good person, through and through. Why do I keep trying to see the good when there hasn't been a single shred of evidence to support that deep down she's just a woman who is basically good but made some poor decisions? For six months I have only been given proof of her selfishness, hatred, callousness, licentiousness, and irresponsibility. I think I need to give up on the hope that someday I'll see the good side of her. Although every person CAN be redeemed, many choose not to be.