Advice in Confession

Yesterday I went to Confession. I wasn't planning on going, but it was available, right there in the Mall, so I went.

I received some really good advice. Father told me that the purpose of guilt is to trigger a certain response. Guilt is supposed to prompt you to repent and reform. That's why it's there. Once you make a change, you should be able to let the guilt go. If you can't, then you haven't properly dealt with the problem.

This made me think of my father in law. His attitude towards us is so different. He's aloof and uncomfortable around us. He seems to avoid us. I think he feels so much shame around us for his actions. It's sad because if only he'd admit he was wrong, if he could try to do better, I truly believe he would feel better and could associate with us without embarrassment. He's stuck in the guilt and won't move to the next step that would make him feel better.

I really like looking at guilt in this way: as a prompter to make a change. It makes guilt seem like something healthy and truly a blessing, as long as its dealt with properly. Next time I feel really bad about something, I'll try to remember why those feelings are there.

God bless Fr. Matthew for his insight.