How I felt

I finally saw my husband's lover, as I discussed in another post. I wanted it so badly, but after I saw her, I was relatively calm. She wasn't ugly, nor especially pretty. I wouldn't call her unattractive. She wore no makeup and her hair was pulled sloppily back. She didn't appear to be heavy at all, but was wearing a coat that made it hard to tell. All of this I know not because I can remember her face, but because I only remember what I thought when I saw her.

I knew a prayer had been granted, and was grateful for that, but it still didn't answer any of my questions. Maybe I am not supposed to ever know what I wish I could. I pray that God will give me closure with her, but if not, I trust He will give me a way to cope with not having it. My husband and I started a novena yesterday for peace in our lives. God gives us nothing we can't handle. I just pray we can handle what we are dealt with dignity, grace, and charity.