I saw her

I finally saw my husband’s lover this past Friday. She passed me on the road for the fifth time. I should have kept driving, but at the next light I turned around and followed her. I knew that she was going to the Mall. Because of resurfacing, there wasn’t much parking. We both circled over and over looking for a parking spot, passing each other like we were in some weird dance: neither following the other, but not escaping the other either. She finally parked in another lot and I found a spot where I was.

She had her little girl with her. I watched her then went into the Mall via a second entrance. She was in the central section of the Mall. We were walking towards each other. For a brief minute our eyes met and then we both looked away. I don’t know if she recognized me. I didn't pay attention to her girl. I noticed that she was wearing a poofy coat. If she is pregnant, there was no way to tell, but that wasn’t what I was after anyway. I know that she’s not carrying my husband’s child. If she is pregnant now, it is from a newer relationship.

I finally got what I wanted. I have been dying to see her face for months. My husband hasn’t wanted me to because he knows how I am haunted by visual images. He didn’t want her face forever burned in my mind. The funny thing is this: A short time later that day I couldn’t recall her face, just the cold, unfriendly look she gave me as our eyes met. I don’t know if that is how she views all strangers or if it was a special look just for me, but regardless, that impression is the only thing, even now, that I can recall. If I saw her on the street I would not recognize her. God blessed me with finally seeing her, and then blessed me by not being haunted by her image. How strange are the ways of God……

In my next posting, I’ll discuss how my husband and I were both affected this weekend, but I wanted to make sure I recorded this milestone.