Courageous or scared?

Over the past few days I've been involved in a very painful fight with a person I used to consider a friend. In her final communication with me, she said that she has painfully witnessed over and over again me making the "proper" choice instead of the "Courageous, just" choice. She said that I am motivated entirely out of self preservation, when real love calls for courage.

This debate has reminded me again the value in not sharing very personal things with others, like the affair. One of my biggest fears in telling the few people we did was that I would be judged as being weak and co-dependant for staying with my husband. I also hated feeling that people would look at him differently. In reality, this is an incredibly difficult choice, and I think the hardest thing God has asked of me. Do I love him? Absolutely. Would it be easier to walk away, though, and try to find someone else? Society would say yes without hesitation. In the long run, though, I know that wouldn't be best for me, him, or our son. Maybe my decision was made partially out of self preservation, but not just for myself: for my marriage. Can't the courageous choice be "proper" too? No one can understand another's struggles completely. Someone who is so quick to judge the most difficult life decisions of another are no friend.

I feel so totally unjustly judged. Thank God I never shared any of this with her, because she would have called me a coward behind my back for this too.